Nulis
by darthdaenerys
Summary: This is my Reylo twist on the ending of The Last Jedi, the story of Rise of Skywalker, and what should/could happen after. Rated M for smut, sexual content, language, violence, the works. Slow burn. This will be long as it will change the ending of Last Jedi and the story of Rise of Skywalker, as well as show how Rey tries to get Ben out of the World Between Worlds. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

_**Just tell me what you need to tell me and I'll go with it because nothing's off limits. **_

**Chapter 1**

"Please."

His face was so handsome in that moment. She had noticed how attractive he was many times before, to her behest, but it was so blatant now. The way his features twisted in agony as he begged her to stay with him was so upsettingly beautiful. She tasted the salt of a tear that had rolled onto her top lip. Why was he doing this? She thought he had turned; that he had chosen the light as he fought side by side with her against Snoke and his knights. The memory of feeling intense gratitude and relief filling her chest as she noticed her saber slicing through Snoke's torso at Ben's command came to her mind.

Ben. He was so close to becoming Ben again.

He was almost hers. But that hope slowly snuffed itself out as she watched him wait for her hand to meet his own. He didn't want to turn to the light. He didn't want to help the resistance. He didn't want to help either side. He was set in his ways, and he wanted her to join him. It felt eerily like a proposal. Like he was asking her to be his Empress. Which in a way, he was. Just the thought of being his partner in any way made blood rush through her cheeks.

"Ben.."

He looked like he was about to speak, but he set his jaw tight as to make sure not to say anymore. He waited, hand outstretched. He approached her like a frightened feral child; making sure not to say or do anything to make her run away screaming.

Her hand slowly lifted without her permission. She wanted to take his hand so badly. Something inside of her screamed to leap into his arms and never leave him again. Part of her didn't care about anything but him. Part of her was selfish enough to take his hand and never look back. She hated that he made her so selfish. She detested it. But those feelings were always there, begging her to go to him.

She struggled. Her hand shook as it slowly reached for him. She felt pain in her mouth as she noted she was biting the tip of her tongue in anticipation. Before she could stop it, her hand slipped into his. She was hoping the physical hold on him would make him stay in place as she begged him to stop this madness.

His relief was visible. His shoulders relaxed, his chest heaved as he gasped for air through his nose. His gloved hand quickly clasped around her own; almost too tightly.

"I can't." Rey choked out. She didn't mean for her voice to sound so sorrowful. He noticed the overflow of tears that poured as she spoke. He stepped closer, pulling her hand still locked in his own to his chest.

His one step closed so much distance between them. She could smell him; a cologne of leather and smoke. She struggled to continue speaking as his dark eyes bore holes into her.

"I-"

"Don't." He interrupted. He used the soft silk tone he reserved only for her.

She looked up to meet his eyes, confused.

"I will keep you safe. I can protect you. I can teach you. You won't be alone anymore." His last word almost turned into a whisper. He knew she was prepared to reject him, and he was determined to not hear it.

"I..I can't..you know I can't." She couldn't look at him anymore as she spoke. If she continued to look into those eyes, she'd say yes to whatever he asked of her.

She felt his hand squeeze tighter around her own. "What do you want, Rey? Peace? To bring back the Jedi? What do _you _want when this is all over? Because this all will end. Whether it's the resistance or the order on top, it will end." He raised his voice a little with every word.

She felt anger well up in her throat. "Yes, I want peace. I want a galaxy without the First Order. I want democracy. And yes, I want a Jedi rebirth. I want to be taught the ways and then I want to pass those teaching along to anyone that feels the force. I don't want anymore death. I want people to live." She swallowed the last bit of self-pity she had. Her tears suddenly began to dry up. She pushed him away from her slightly so she could breathe. He didn't relinquish her hand.

She met his eyes. "I want you to be happy. I want you safe and far away from the darkness. I want you to be Ben. I want you to be with us. To be with me. Don't you see that?" She was yelling at him now.

He didn't answer her. His only reply was a look of shock as he watched her tantrum.

"I want to be with you. But not like this!" The tears betrayed her once again. "I can't stay. But you can go. You can come with me." She was begging him now. He slowly stepped back as she spoke, understanding there was no convincing her anymore.

"Why?" he deadpanned, dropping her hand.

"What?"she felt her hand tingle as it was freed from his tight grasp.

"Why do you care? Why do you want me to be happy? Where am I in your story?" He was heated now, creating fists as he spoke.

Her anger turned to fury. "Really?! Is what I said not enough? Do I have to spell it out!"

He stepped closer, closing the space between them again. His face softened very slightly.

"Say it."

She bit her bottom lip, refusing to speak. She won't let those words come out. Not now.

He leaned in closer, so his breath spread over her face as he spoke.

"Say it." His voice had become so deep and quiet that she almost didn't hear it.

"Because.." she was breathless, and she hated it.

He waited, eyes not leaving her own.

"Because I lo-"

His lips crashed onto her own with enough force to send her almost tumbling backwards. His steel arm crept around her back to keep her upright, pulling her closer. She mentally kicked herself for giving in so easily. Her eyes immediately shut as she energetically kissed him back. She wondered if he could taste her tears.

His hand on her back tightened as she opened her mouth ever so slightly. He let out what sounded to her like a quiet moan as he forced his lips away from hers.

"I'm so sorry."

She opened her eyes in confusion. She watched his pained expression as her vision slowly faded into a black abyss.

…

He was doomed.

She'd never accept his proposition. He had hoped with every fiber of his being that she'd take his hand and stay. He knew that hope was fleeting before he asked, but he asked anyway.

_I want to be with you. But not like this! _

That was it. She had given him her answer and there was no swaying her to his side of thinking. Loving her was a thread of hope and light for him, while loving him was a dark shroud for her. He could never be what she saw in him. Never again. He couldn't return to the life of Ben Solo. Ben Solo was weak. Ben Solo wanted to run away with her to the outer rim; to live so far away from it all. Ben was screaming inside. Begging to hold on to the love she offered to give him; if only he would go with her. He had pictured it almost every night since their force bond started: A small hut on a distant rural planet. Rey watching over the hills as suns began to set. She turns to him and smiles.

That dream would never become a reality. It wasn't in his destiny. He was too far gone.

Fury bubbled up in his chest as he envisioned Ben Solo's dream shattering. He could settle with her as his partner; as Kylo Ren's right hand woman. He had seen that future as well. She had approached him with paled skin and sharpened features. She had flicked open a firey red doubled-edged saber. It was beautiful.

He had to let go. To let go of her as he had his father; as he had his mother; as he had Luke. There was no future for them. He could at least say he tried.

But he had to hear her say it. He had to hear just this once before he could let go. He needed something to hold on to on one of those cold lonely nights that were to come.

_Say it._

_Because….because I lo-_

He didn't mean to close the gap. He didn't plan on kissing her. But it came so naturally, like they had said goodbye this way a hundred times. It felt amazing. The feeling of her so close, of her lips on his was so comforting and real. The knots in his stomach came when she slightly opened her mouth for him. The passion that threatened to break out had to be stopped. How can he let her go after that? How could he ever say goodbye with her body tightening in his grip? He wanted to do nothing more than to have her on this cold throne room floor.

No.

He broke the kiss before it broke him.

"I'm so sorry." he let his feelings flow out into her mind. He wanted her to feel his pain; his longing for her.

_I love you_

He had no idea if she heard his thought, but he really hoped she had.

With her guard down, it was too easy to use the force to slowly let her eyes roll back into a deep sleep.

There, with her limp in his arms and dried tears down her cheeks, he let his own tears fall. Kylo held her tight as he burrowed his face in her messy hair.

He let himself indulge in his emotions for those few moments with the girl he loved. He let himself repeat over and over in his head when she almost said those words he wanted to hear so badly. He almost regretted interrupting her, but that kiss was all too perfect.

He allowed these moments to be human. He allowed Ben Solo his time in the light, so that Kylo Ren could continue his onslaught on the resistance and any remnant of the jedi.


	2. Chapter 2

_**You would take me, you would have me, dead or alive, every single night. I could let you. I would let you, but is it a crime to play with your mind?..**_

**Chapter 2**

Consciousness slowly crept back over Rey as she struggled to open her eyes. Bright white lights attempted to penetrate through her lids. Rey groaned as she lazily attempted to stand up from her sitting position. A strong force pulled her backwards as she moved. Jolting back to life, Rey looked down to find herself strapped into a seat of an extremely small ship; an escape pod.

She angrily unbuckled the straps, and launched herself towards the large windows in front of her. Her hands slapped against the panel as she watched the torn apart Supremacy drift further and further from her.

"Dammit!" She tightened her fingers into a fist as she banged on the panel. Tears of sheer anger began to form as she yelled.

She gifted herself one last look across the sky towards Snoke's ship before she let her knees take her to the cold grate floor of the escape pod. She didn't give her hands rest as she banged them against the floor, leaving red marks and a small cut on her right pointer finger.

How could he? How could he knock her out and send her on her way like that!? How dare he?! It's as if the kiss was nothing more than a ploy to take down her defenses...

She remembered the feeling of his lips on her own and the closeness of his chest as she rested her hands on it. The muscles tightening underneath the clothes..

She felt her fingers graze her lips at the memory as her cheeks burned red. She noticed the small cut beginning to bleed and sucked on it.

"I'm a fool." she said out loud as she assessed the cut. She was a fool. He didn't care about anything; only himself. He wanted to stay in his ways, only now with her beside him. She couldn't believe she almost told him..told him the words she desperately didn't want to be true. She did love him. No matter what she tried, that feeling never went away. Even now, as she cursed him under her breath as she was launched into space, she couldn't shake the tiny morsel of hope in her heart for him. She'd love him no matter what, and that scared her the most.

Rey closed her eyes, reaching out to him through the Force. She didn't know what she'd even say if he answered her. She just wanted to see him. Maybe to give him a piece of her mind.

She felt him. It was faint, but it was him. He was angry, lonely, tormented, conflicted; all the above. But he didn't answer her. Either he chose not to or he didn't hear her at all.

_Ben_.

She called out in her mind. But there was no answer. Snoke was telling the truth. The Force didn't care about connecting them. They weren't destined to be tied in that way. It was all a ploy. And she fell for it all.

…

Kylo Ren let his torment turn to rage as he ascended on Crait. He saw red. Ben Solo was almost completely snuffed out of him. It was time to end it all. End the Jedi. End the Resistance. Then he'd deal with the Order. He was going to create it all anew, without her. He ignored his chest squeezing in agony at the thought.

…...

The Resistance was almost completely eradicated. She counted about 28 survivors as she ushered them quickly onto the safety of the Falcon. Her eyes fell on the General. Leia's soft smile didn't reach her eyes. Rey was happy to see General Organa unharmed. But knew her heart was hurting with the passing of Luke, and for the fate of her son. Rey had felt it too, Luke disappearance from the Force. She didn't think her heart could take much more after today.

Rey found herself thinking of Ben again. Wondering if he even knew or cared that she was almost shot down in the Falcon. After being rescued by Chewie from the escape pod, they ascended an attack on Crait against the First Order's approaching forces. She imagined how the events would have been if he had gone with her. If he had kissed her in victory as they slayed the last of the First Order, instead of kissing her farewell forever. She imagined him on the Falcon, helping survivors while they gave him wary glances, rightfully so. She imagined him at her side now. She fought the fire that burned in her eyes as tears threatened to fall. She missed him, and she hated it.

As the last survivor crossed into the entrance from the ramp, she saw him.

He was knelt down, staring directly at her. He didn't look angry with defeat like she thought he would. He looked tired, defeated, and lonely.

She fought back every part of her that wanted to run to him. To slap him, to embrace him, to yell at him. Seh knew none of it would work. It never would. She instead gave him a sympathetic look before moving her hand to close the ramp.

His voice hit her ears the second she looked away from him to hit the button. She quickly looked back at him in confusion. His lips weren't moving.

_Can you hear me?_

She answered him out loud, "Yes." but how?

_Have you heard my thoughts this way before?_

_Like this? No._

She answered him with her own thoughts. Wondering if he could hear her too. She also worried someone on board would overhear her conversation with the devil.

He looked down, noticeably disappointed.

_I see Snoke lied. _He answered as his dark eyes met hers once more.

_Snoke lied about a lot of things. _She felt her anger slipping through her words.

_I guess that wasn't the last I'll see of you. _ He finally said after a brief moment of silence. His voice almost a whipser.

_I guess not. _She spat back at him.

He stood up, something was in his left hand but she couldn't make it out.

_Why? _She asked before he could say anything else. She knew he understood what she was asking.

_We're on different paths, Rey. Paths that can't be changed. _She was right. He knew exactly what she meant. He didn't skip a beat as he answered her. Why did he give her an ultimatum like that? Go to the dark with him or die trying to bring him into the light? Why kiss her at all? Why?

"That's a lie and you know it!" She yelled at him out loud this time.

He took a breath, and spoke in a low tired tone, "I know." and he as gone.

She slammed her palm down on the button in fury. Why did he have to make this so hard? He now knew exactly how she felt about him. He even seemed for a moment to reciprocate. But to just give up like that? It didn't make sense. At least their bond isn't gone. Their Force bond was real and she was going to use it. She was going to save Ben Solo or die trying.

…

They were gone. The Resistance had evaded him again. He could hear only the echoes of stormtrooper boots and the clicks of Hux's heels throughout the cavern. He wasn't surprised. When his anger dissipated with the feeling of Luke's force signature disappearing, he was left with nothing. He felt empty now. There was no rage left to fill him up; to make him whole. He was just so tired.

Kylo bent down to pick up something he hadn't seen in almost a decade. Two golden hanging dice hung in his hand. His father's dice. His mother or Luke had left them here. They wanted him to see it. They wanted him to know there was still a chance for Ben Solo. But there wasn't anymore. He had done too much. He had burned too many bridges. He thought about reaching out to her, to Rey. But immediately denied that desire. He didn't want to see her. He didn't want her to know how torn inside he still was even after concluding she would never be by his side. Besides, Snoke built that connection between them. It died along with him. But still..

The sudden deafening silence was all too familiar. Ringing hit his ears as he mulled over the possibility. It was only his imagination. There was no way..

Kylo let his head raise up, a small hope that Rey might be there standing in front of him like so many times before.

And there she was.

She was looking through the survivors, smiling as she ushered them into the Falcon. The Falcon..how he despised that trashcan more than anything. It gave him as much grief as it gave his father pleasure. She was supposed to be rescued by the Falcon and taken far away from here. He noticed it hovering around the Supremacy through the large throne room windows after their kiss. Their kiss...

He reached out to her through the Force, to see how she was feeling or if she was hurt physically. She was thinking about him. He could've sworn he heard his name a few times. She was angry, conflicted, sad, all tied up into one small body. He was the only person that stirred that many emotions up in her at once. He had felt that in her countless times before.

She must have sensed him. She now stared directly at him.

She was beautiful to him. No matter the emotion written across her face, he always spared a moment or two to take in her physical beauty; whether he meant to or not. Her reaction tugged his heartstrings. She looked furious.

He noticed her left leg twitch. It bent only slightly, as if she was going to run towards him. He hoped she wouldn't. It would make matters that much harder. The closer in proximity she was, the more his resolve would waver. He couldn't see her anymore. If this bond was real, which is truly seems to be now, he would have to ignore it from now on. She had to hate him. That was the only way. She'd never come with him to rule by his side. She needed to hate him so she'd stop trying to turn him. Ben Solo's dreams needed to die. His dream of them together alone on a distant planet, smiling in contentment, had to die so that Kylo Ren could live and bring order to the galaxy.

He wondered if she had heard him on the Supremacy. He didn't know if he wanted her to have anymore. That would probably only make her drive to save him even worse. He knew in his heart if she continued to try, if she continued to give him the love he didn't deserve, that he'd give in. Kylo Ren could not have that.

He had to know. He had to know if she had heard his declaration through his thoughts.

_Can you hear me?_

His tightened his fist around the dice in his palm painfully as he watched her head flick suddenly back towards him. She was planning on shutting the hatch on him in anger, but she had heard his thoughts.

Damn.

She answered him out loud, "Yes." Her mouth hung open after she spoke. She was obviously surprised. The must have been the first time she heard him like this before.

_Have you heard my thoughts this way before?_

_Like this? No._

She answered him with her own thoughts. So it was mutual.

He looked down at his dice as they mocked him. The Force was going to chain him to her until he bent to its will.

_I see Snoke lied. _

_Snoke lied about a lot of things. _She had laced the thought with plenty of venom. He looked up to her, noting the glint of fury in her eyes; they way her right eyebrow would raise like it always did when she was about to yell at him.

_I guess that wasn't the last I'll see of you. _

_I guess not. _She spat back at him.

He stood up, he was so tired. Too emotionally and physically drained to play literal mind games.

_Why? _She asked before he could say anything else.

He knew what she was asking.

_We're on different paths, Rey. Paths that can't be changed. _His voice didn't match the validity and resolve in his statement. She could probably see right through it. He kept a mental bar on the rest of his mind, in case she decided to wander deeper than just his surface thoughts.

"That's a lie and you know it!" She yelled at him out loud this time.

He took a breath, and spoke in a low tired tone, "I know."

He didn't mean to say it, it had just came out. He always found it so hard to lie to her. He watched her face switch from anger and hurt to surprise to anger once more as she slowly faded away. He looked down the dark hallway of the cavern base that replaced her.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Everything is red**_

_**His blood, his hands, his screams**_

_**And now I'm covered in the colors pulled apart at the seams**_

_**And it's blue..**_

_**And it's blue..**_

_**Everything is black**_

_**His hair, his cloak, his dreams**_

_**And now he's so devoid of color he doesn't know what it means**_

_**And he's blue..**_

_**And he's blue..**_

**Notes**: If you're curious as to what song lyrics I'm quoting at the beginning of each chapter, here are the songs so far:

Chapter 1: _Off Limits_ by BAYNK, Glades

Chapter 2: _Wanted _by NOTD, Days

Chapter 3: _Colors _by Halsey *some changes made to original lyrics

I will start making a habit to credit the song from now on so you can download them or listen to them whilst reading if you wish. They are all songs that really remind me of Reylo. Also, quick disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or the rights to these characters. Thank you all for reading. Now, enjoy!

**Chapter 3**

It had been 3 months.

3 months since he last spoke to her. 3 months of constantly trying to battle between trying to ignore him and wanting to scream at him because he had the audacity to ignore her too. The Force bond would open every few days, sometimes a few extra days would go by and she'd become nervous. It was always the same: she'd note the vacuum of air and the ringing in her ears. Sometimes he was sitting, sometimes he wasn't. That's all she'd be able to get out of him; whether he was sitting or standing. He spoke once, but not to her. He was barking orders when she arrived next to him, peering up at his scarred face. He'd hesitate for a moment, letting her know he knew she was there, but then continue to bark at his probably terrified subordinates. He was Supreme Leader now. He had a lot to deal with.

She scoffed at that thought.

She wasn't planning on speaking to him whenever the bond would open, but at least she noticed his existence. He wouldn't even look at her. Once he had angrily walked right passed her, bumping her shoulder in the process; acting as if he didn't see her at all. It infuriated her.

After several weeks of their mutual tantrums, she decided to call him out on it.

"Really? Are you seriously going to do this? The least you could do is notice me!" She yelled from across her chambers in the Falcon. He had appeared before her in the middle of the night. She was caught between being angry at him for ignoring her and for being embarrassed that she didn't dress a little more appropriate this night. They had landed on Naboo while awaiting further instructions from General Organa. She was meeting with Resistance allies; the very same that refused their distress signal on Crait. Naboo was a temperate planet, but they happened upon it during their warmest season. Rey was used to the heat and welcomed it with open arms. She loved being able to sleep sprawled out in nothing more than an oversized white sleeveless tunic she had found in one of the old forgotten chambers in an old Resistance base on Hoth a few weeks earlier. She guessed no one visiting Hoth anytime soon would miss a sleeveless tunic.

He was standing across her room, back to her, dressed in the same black on black uniform that she had already memorized every string of. This was the one with the small hole in the seam in his left shoulder. He seemed to expect her outburst. He didn't flinch at the vibrating sound of her voice.

Kylo's head slowly tilted, then fully turned to meet her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of his recognition of her. It had been a lifetime to her since those eyes gave her the time of day. She hated the way it made her feel; the way the knots in her stomach began to form. She missed him. She hated it with every part of her being, but she couldn't lie to herself. She missed their little talks. She wanted nothing more than for him to fill the space between them and be the man she saw for a moment in the throne room. She wanted him to kiss her like that again, even if he didn't truly mean it.

"I did mean it."

His voice echoed in her ears. Was he listening? Could he hear her thoughts even when she wasn't using them to speak directly to him? Rey's cheeks blushed a deep red as blood filled every inch of her face.

"H-hey! Get out of my head!"

He was fully turned to face her now. Those dark amber eyes bore holes into her as she watched him take in her appearance. She hated how she wanted him to see her like this. She hated how she almost enjoyed the way his jaw tightened.

She kept him out of her mind. He didn't need to hear things like that. She'd be mortified. Brick by brick she built an invisible wall around her thoughts. She needed to stop letting herself be so vulnerable around him; but it was so easy to be.

"Good. You're finally learning." he said almost sarcastically. Was that supposed to be a compliment?

He tried to spin on his heel, to give her his back again. He was probably hoping she was going to evaporate into thin air soon. He wasn't getting away so easily. He got halfway turned before she spoke.

"If you did mean it. Then why? You know I was almost killed on the Falcon on Crait? You know you murdered several people during that attack? If you meant..if..if you meant that, truly, then you care for me just as much as I do for you. And if that were true, you would have never left me for dead in that pod. You would have never sent an attack on Crait. " She had stepped closer to him now, lowering her voice as she went as to not wake Chewie. She was proud of herself. She had said exactly what she had been needing to say to him for months now, and with the sternness she wanted to say it with.

"I did not leave you for dead. You were supposed to stay in deep space. You weren't supposed to be there."

He let his head hang lazily to the right to look at her through his peripheral.

"I did mean it. The kiss. I wanted to do it. And you know I can take whatever I want." His words were meant to hurt her. She was sure. There was no venom in them. No anger. He had said it too matter-of-factly. He was lying.

"You're lying. Again."

Kylo looked up to let out what seemed to be a short laugh. "So I can't get into your head, but you can get into mine?" she heard the smile in his voice. He still refused to look at her or even turn around.

"No. You're just a bad liar." She was proud of that. She didn't have to snake around his mind to know, at least not this time.

"Maybe I am." His voice was so low now, almost a whisper. She wondered if he even meant to say it out loud.

Her hand reached out instinctively to grab his arm. She pulled slightly, attempting to make him face her. He did so, only half-way. His eyes still didn't meet hers.

"Make me understand."

His eyes flicked up to her face in alarm. What was he so afraid of?

He slowly turned to face her as she spoke, "You're selfish, and cruel, and temperamental. But I still see so much good in you. I can _feel _it."

She paused to give him a pleading look before continuing, "You tell me one thing and do another. You admit to lying but still don't explain why you lied in the first place. I hate this back and forth. I hate not knowing what's going on in your head and, unlike you, I'm not going to go fishing around in there for my answer."

He said nothing. His face had softened to the one he wore in the throne room. Right before..

"Please." she squeezed the hand she still kept on his arm. She noted the ridges of his triceps and tried to ignore the heat rising up her neck.

"I know you think I should've stayed with you. I know. But that isn't the way. That's not how I want our story to end."

"_Our_ story?" she realized just how close he had come when his cold breath hit her chin. She shivered. His deep voice now much deeper than she had ever thought possible, with a twinge of something else in it. There was a glint in his eyes that she hadn't seen before.

She looked away, embarrassed at her choice of words.

"What I meant..What I meant is that I don't want it to be that way. I don't want you deeper in the dark. I want you to come to us. To help us. You can still turn. You can still be Ben."

"To come to _you_, you mean." There was no sarcasm in his voice this time.

She stared up at him, a hint of her temper coming out in her words, "Yes. If that's how you want to put it."

"And I'm the one that's selfish." He was closer now, teasing her as his head tilted down to hers.

She slowly set his arm free, using both her hands to press lightly on his chest. He was too close. Far too close.

"We don't have a story, Rey. Not anymore. Not unless you come to me. I can teach you." He had resorted back to his ways. Kylo Ren, who was once hell bent on pretending she didn't exist in retaliation for rejecting him, now resorted back to begging.

That sobered her up.

She pressed harder on him, he didn't budge. It was like pressing against a cement wall. He was just so _big_. He made her feel like a small child.

She tried to speak to him with her eyes closed, maybe that would help.

"Please don't do this."

She felt his breathing stop. His heartbeat blasted against her palms.

"I can't..no, I won't." She let her eyes fling open with her sudden rush of confidence, "I will turn you, Ben Solo. Either let me, or watch me die trying."

She watched as he released her. He slowly stepped back, his face twisted in fury.

"Fine. Have it your way." he said through gritted teeth as he dissipated.


	4. Chapter 4

_**I want to hide the truth**_

_**I want to shelter you**_

_**But with the beast inside**_

_**There's nowhere we can hide…**_

_**Don't get too close**_

_**It's dark inside**_

_**It's where my demons hide..**_

_**-"Demons", **_**Imagine Dragons**

**Chapter 4**

Rey wasn't sure what she hated more: him ignoring her, or him not being around at all. Several weeks passed without the bond opening. There were several moments she could have sworn she had felt the vacuum of air and the deafening silence. But he was never there. His voice never came through, neither his thoughts.

She took the time without him as a chance to train. Under Leia's leadership, Rey blossomed into Jedihood. The Endorian rainforest provided her all she needed to one day bring Kylo Ren to his knees. She was desperate to change him. To change him and in turn change the tide of the war. She told herself she cared more about the war, the Resistance itself, more than him. She screamed that mantra in her head almost nightly, especially when her lips began to tingle with the memory of him.

"Are you going to tell us the point of this yet?"

Poe's voice penetrated her concentration. She had completed the Jedi training course in stride that morning and was now attempting to flex a very important muscle; her force sensitivity. Rey floated mid-air, surrounded by swirling rocks and boulders she lifted with her. She cringed at the sound of his voice. She answered without opening her eyes.

"I have to get stronger somehow, Poe."

"You're strong enough now! Hell Rey you even _healed _Finn the other day when he came back from that ambush. You're getting stronger everyday. We need you out there. Not here playing around."

Rey's eyes snapped open at his last sentence. How dare he say something like that? The levitating rocks fell to the forest floor with several loud thuds, one of the smallest darted towards his leg.

"Ow! Knock it off!" Poe reached down to cradle his throbbing shin, hobbling on one foot.

Rey gracefully let herself touch back down to meet the space pilot eye to eye.

"I am _not_ playing around. Kylo Ren is our only hope at winning this war. I have to be ready to face him."

Poe scrunched his face in confusion, "How the hell is he our only hope? From where I'm standing, _you_ are." He stepped closer, matching her defiant stance by placing his hands on his hips too.

"If and when I turn him, he will help us win this. He's the Supreme Leader. He can take them out from the inside."

"Are you joking!? Why would you think Kylo Ren of all people would do that? Have you not seen him recently?"

She ignored her heart threatening to burst through her chest at his question. No..no she hadn't seen him at all in a while.

"He's conflicted. I can change him." Her anger slowly faded into resolve as she stepped up, practically nose to nose with him.

"How do you know that? How could you possibly know for sure?"

Her face softened, "We're...connected. I can feel his emotions. He's been torn up inside ever since..ever since Han."

Poe took a long step back, "Connected? In what sense?"

"When he tried to get into my mind through the force the first time we met, I pushed back. We both dug around in each other's thoughts for a while until I finally broke free. But..but it's like I didn't. It's like I couldn't break the chain binding our minds together, I only gave it more slack."

"Rey that makes no sense." Poe's voice was almost a whisper now. He looked her up and down like she was some evil science experiment.

Rey's shoulders slumped and she sighed, "You don't have to understand it. All that matters is that I do, and so does Ben."

She didn't mean to call him that. She tried to make a point not to lately, even in her thoughts.

Poe scoffed, "Ben? Please! Bond, connection, or whatever you two have, it's not going to erase what _Kylo Ren _has done. You can't save him Rey. No matter how much you love him."

Rey's head snapped up at him as he spoke, "Wha-"

"Don't patronize me." He interrupted her, "I know. I always wondered, even in the beginning, but after he killed Snoke for you..after Crait..I knew. You changed almost completely; no longer concerned with the Resistance. You have a whole new objective..one you disguise as helping us win the war."

Rey stepped back slowly as his words lingered in the air. He was speaking uncharacteristically softly now, probably so no other rebels could hear. If they knew..

"Tha-That's not true."

Poe stepped forward, "Oh it is. And this whole 'connection'," he placed his hands up to create heavily sarcastic air quotes, "that you two have is clouding your judgment. You don't care about the war anymore. You care about him. I bet you'd join him if he asked."

That was it. He had said too much. Rey felt the fury that was bubbling up in her stomach throughout the entire conversation burst out through her throat as she spoke.

"He did ask me! I rejected him. I rejected Kylo Ren as I always will. I will never join him and how dare you even accuse me of such a thing! I have done everything I can for the Resistance. I may care about him, but I will never turn my back on this war. I will never turn my back on my friends, including _you_." she spat the last word out with plenty of venom.

Rocks of all shapes and sizes slowly started to lift off of the forest floor once more as she approached him, a yellowing color slowly showing in her eyes.

"Rey..Rey stop.." Poe slowly stepped back

"I will turn Ben Solo. I will drag him back here. He will help us win this war. I will keep all of you from dying a painful pathetic death if you'd just leave me alone and let me!"

Poe tripped over a small tree root as he attempted to back away from her anger. He found himself staring wide-eyed up at her from the ground. The levitating rocks now stared menacingly at him as they threatened to all come at him at once. Rey's once innocent and child-like eyes now glowed with an amber he'd never seen in her before. She was terrifying. He was terrified.

"Rey stop!" he screamed back, thankful he could find his voice. She didn't back down.

Poe felt the footsteps running towards him from behind before he heard them.

"What's going on-" Finn's voice came from the thick brush as he reacted to all the commotion he must have heard from base camp. He stopped, out of breath, as he choked on his question at the sight of Rey. She didn't notice him, she was still staring maniacally at the shivering pilot.

"Rey...Rey what's wrong?" Finn could barely speak. He could feel her emotions. It hit him like a truck. Sadness, anger, confusion, annoyance, maybe even hate. How was that possible? How could he feel what she felt? He didn't have time to ponder.

"Stop this. Now!"

At the sound of the General's voice, Rey snapped back. Her yellow eyes flitted away with just a blink. The rocks came crashing down to the ground with extreme force.

Leia Organa stepped forward from the brush where Finn had came, a few of her trusted lieutenants behind her with blasters raised.

"There will be no need for that. Go." Leia brushed her subordinates off. They met her with disapproving glances before slowly putting down their weapons and retreating. One woman, a blonde elder, looked over her shoulder to give Rey a horrified expression. They were afraid of her now.

Rey fell to her knees, exhausted suddenly. Tears spilled over her cheeks as she gasped for air, "I-I'm so sorry.."

Finn helped Poe to his feet, "What happened?" Finn whispered to his still shaken up friend.

Poe gave Finn an angry glance "He's got her. He's sunk his teeth so deep into her she isn't herself anymore." He turned to Leia, "Your son did this. He's fucked with her mind so badly that she almost killed me!"

Leia didn't give Poe the time of day, she was slowly walking toward her padawan.

Poe huffed before turning away from them all and trudged through the trees back to base. Finn stayed, fixated on Rey's trembling form. She stared at the ground, in complete confusion. He felt it. Sadness, embarrassment, confusion..

"General..What happened to her?"

Leia knelt down to softly caress Rey's back, Rey crumbled towards her master.

"My son didn't do this. This..this is something else."

….

Kylo Ren did everything in his power to ignore the bond. He had to focus on his work; on using his power to end the galaxy as they all knew it, in order to start anew. There were a few times when he let his guard down, that he would see her. He would either fight to close the bond quickly or keep quiet until she dissipated. He hated how much he loved seeing her.

Rey had sworn to die trying to save him. He couldn't bare to see that ever happen, which felt inevitable to him now if she continued down the path she has chosen. So she had to learn to hate him, or to join him. Those were her only choices as far as he was concerned. Especially if the vision he had seen when she touched his hand for the first time came to fruition..

_It was a cold, dark planet with nothing but clouds and constant sparks of lightning. The throne room was vast and filled with archaic monuments of passed Sith leaders, as well as Emperor Palpatine himself. _

_Kylo sat atop the large stoney throne. It was cold beneath his legs and hands. He could feel the sharp chill and occasional electrical current through his clothes. _

"_All I ask is for some guidance. I don't know how to continue to feed myself if I can't take much needed supplies from those who don't need it." The Twi'Lek's voice could barely reach Kylo on his throne. He stood before the young Emperor in chains. A red stormtrooper used the butt of his blaster to bring the prisoner to his knees. _

"_You killed an entire tribe of your own kind for a couple vats of starfruit and a few dozen leather pelts." Kylo answered him, indifference enveloping his tone._

_The Twi'Lek angrily spat back at his Emperor, "So? They were weak! Survival of the fittest, am I right? You take whatever you want if you are willing and able." Kylo watched as the prisoner's gaze shifted to Kylo's right. _

"_Are you her? Are you the woman that turned her back on the Resistance? Even I wouldn't have done something like that!" he bellowed out a laugh, "I bet you're not even as strong as they say. I bet you're only here as his little toy. Do you two get busy between trials? Is that how that works?" He turned towards Kylo, "I'm right aren't I? You use this bitch to blow off steam-" The unnamed prisoner started wincing and gasping as his throat closed on him suddenly, interrupting his taunts. _

_Kylo's hold on the man's throat held as his cohort spoke. _

"_Don't concern yourself with me." a feminine voice answered as the man continued to choke and grunt._

_To Kylo's right stood a beautiful young woman with hollowed cheeks and extremely pale skin. Rey. Her long dark almost auburn hair spread over her shoulders as she lifted a terrifying spear. No..it wasn't a spear at all. With a flick of her wrist the staff turned into a double-edged laser sword, burning a menacing red. _

_The Twi'Lek began to shake as Emperor Kylo Ren finally freed him. He gasped so air could finally flow freely to his lungs._

_A small smile danced on Kylo's lips as he answered the woman's unspoken question, "Yes, you can have this one." _

_A horrifically gorgeous smile spread across Rey's face, "Thank you." _

_She slowly approached the prisoner, a sadistic delight in her expression._

Kylo Ren closed his eyes as he remembered the vision, every word, every second of it was perfect. The future him did not shy away from the prisoner's accusing taunts of her being his lover behind closed doors. He only reacted angrily to Rey being called names. He didn't deny it. So it had to be true. He not only ruled over a new galaxy, but he had her by his side; in the throne room and in his bed.

Her pushed the perverted thought from his mind. He shook from the excitement of the vision coming true one day while a small part of him shuddered in horror. That small spark of light in him said that wasn't the way for them. That future shouldn't be how their story ends. Their story was alone on Tattooine, watching the suns setting together as they smiled at one another, hopeful and content.

"_That's not how I want our story to end."_

He felt his fist hit something hard. He had punched the white desk before him in his quarters. He had to rid himself of those thoughts. The spark of Ben deep inside of him was still too strong.

He heard his chambers' door slide open, "Supreme Leader."

The distorted voice through the helmet of one of his many stormtroopers hit his ears.

"What?" He was in no mood for whatever his lackey had to say. Kylo slowly slid his helmet back on as the trooper spoke.

"We caught the spy sir. We are holding him in interrogation room six."

"Good. Gather my Generals. I need to speak with them after I've dealt with the spy."

"Yes, Supreme Leader."

Kylo stomped through the halls of his base, still attempting to push his internal war from his mind.

"_But I can still see so much good in you. I can feel it."_

Her voice lingered in his head. He closed his eyes behind the mask, remembering her voice, remembering how she felt in his arms on the Supremacy, remembering how she tasted.

His love for her was too much. He wished he could see her. Maybe ignoring her was wrong. Maybe that wasn't the way to go about it.

Hot fury began to bubble up in his stomach, threatening to burst forth at any moment. Why? Why was he so angry and irritable all the sudden?

Kylo stopped walking and started to shake. He wanted to punch something. His leather gloves squeaked as his fingers curled into tight fists. What is this?

"_I'll kill him. I swear if he tries to stop me I'll kill him."_

A thought that wasn't his own slipped into his mind. "Rey." He said aloud.

She was furious. Was she talking about him? He leaned against the nearest wall, trying to suppress the anger she was subconsciously flowing into him so he could concentrate.

Kylo closed his eyes. A vision came before him, a man on the ground. Poe Dameron, Kylo cringed at the sight of him. The annoying pilot was panicking, he looked into Kylo's eyes with so much fear. No..not his eyes..Rey's eyes.

He was seeing what she was seeing.

She was approaching the pilot, saying over and over in her mind how she swore to end him if he got in her way. In her way of what?

Kylo's eyes shut tighter as he tried to focus. This wasn't her, this wasn't something she'd ever think. No one ever looked at Rey like that. He couldn't read her. Her thoughts were now a jumbled mess. Her intentions were not clear.

"_Careful. She is not who you think she is."_

The Emperor's corpse's words crept into his mind. He shook off the memory so he could continue concentrating.

The anger, sheer power, and slight thirst for blood was all too familiar to him as he searched her mind and feelings for whatever he could find. The Emperor was right. She was destined for this.

"_Stop this. Now!" _

Just the sight of his mother sent his mind reeling. She had stepped into Rey's frame of vision, attempting to stop her advances on the doomed pilot. He allowed Ben a moment of clarity as he looked upon his mother with Rey's eyes. He felt tears pouring down his cheeks before Rey blinked away the vision. The bond, or whatever that was, closed. He now only saw the white reflective walls of his base ship.

He let himself stay there, hand on the wall supporting his weight as he would collapse at any moment. Part of him cheered for the look into the Sith Rey was to soon become, while another part..a smaller part..wept for her.

"Supreme Leader Ren?"

Kylo jumped at a voice that actually wasn't spoken in his head.

"What is it?" he was incredibly grateful for his mask. The tears were still there.

General Hux eyed him suspiciously, as per usual, "I was on my way to the conference room at your request."

Kylo straightened up, "Yes, wait for me there. They've got our spy, or at least one of them. I'm quite sure there are more."

Hux's body stiffened at his leader's response. Kylo knew Hux was the true spy, that the man his troopers had caught was probably just a messenger for the Resistance. He had felt it in Hux a few weeks back. Hux's hatred for him had suddenly turned to resolve. A resolve that was most likely that of "as long as he loses, I don't care who wins." Kylo decided not to act on Hux's treasons. The Resistance probably already knew Palpatine was back. They could know every step of his plan for all Kylo cared, that still wouldn't help them. Especially since Palpatine wouldn't live much longer..

Hux recovered himself, "Yes, we will do whatever we can to find the rest, if any, Supreme Leader."

"Good." Kylo quietly stepped around his General as he made his way for the interrogation wing.

"_Bring me the girl. Sacrifice her at my feet. Swear your allegiance to the Sith so you may rise as the Emperor of the Final Order. Kill Ben along with her. Kill the part of you that loves her. Kill the boy. Kill the boy so the man may live."_

Kylo felt his pace quicken at the memory of Palpatine's words. He wasn't going to follow any more orders. It was time for his vision to become a reality. Rey would not die at his hand or Palpatine's. He would do no more bidding for anyone. Rey would live and she and him would rule the galaxy.

"_Careful. She is not who you think she is."_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Although you love me, sometimes we're mean**_

_**Things can get ugly but we're still a team**_

_**We are an army that breaks from within**_

_**But that's why we're stronger, and that's how we'll win**_

_**If I fall short, if I break rank**_

_**It's a bloodsport, but I understand**_

_**I am all yours, I am unmanned**_

_**I'm on all fours, willingly damned**_

_**Loving you is a bloodsport..**_

_**Fighting in a love war..**_

_**-"Bloodsport", **_**Raleigh Ritchie**

**Chapter 5**

Rey shivered as the hot water splashed against her back. Small funnels of it ran between her fingers as her hand used the wall of the refresher's shower as leverage to keep her steady.

What was that?

Sure, she was prone to outbursts and spouts of anger every once in a while. Her temper was nothing new. But that feeling..it was as if someone was telling..no, _begging_ her to murder Poe where he laid.

Poor Poe..she had never seen him that way before. His frantic yelling and trembling hands at the mere sight of her..

Rey's stomach turned at the memory. It was sick. It was sick the way the small voice enticed her to enact her fury on anyone around her. It was even more sick that she listened to it.

"_What voice?"_

_General Leia's question interrupted Rey as she explained what exactly had overcome her._

_Rey looked down at her feet, digging her heels in the dirt. Leia stood over her in one of the supply tents at the Rebel base on Naboo. After Rey had shaken off the initial shock of what had happened, Leia's interrogation started. _

_Rey rubbed the last of her tears from her left eye, "It wasn't exactly a voice. Maybe more of a feeling..Like something deep down told me he needed to be.." She swallowed, "What's happening to me?"_

_Leia sighed as she moved to sit next to her padawan, "There's darkness in you, Rey, as there is in all of us. But..unfortunately...yours is just a little louder than others'."_

"_Like Ben."_

_Leia straightened up at the sound of her son's name, "Yes."_

"_I've never experienced it like that before. I've never wanted to hurt someone like that..at least not a friend.."_

_Leia studied Rey's face, "Listen to me. You will not let that voice inside win. You are good, Rey. I know it, my brother knew, Han...Han knew it, and I'm sure my son knows as well. You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for."_

"_I hope I prove you all right." _

_Leia smiled, "Of course you will. If not, I'll hand you over to Chewie, he'd bring sense back to you." _

_Rey laughed, for the first time in weeks, "Thank you, thank you for everything, Master Leia."_

Was this what Ben had been feeling all this time? The rage? The sudden pull of a sadistic voice inside begging for blood? That would drive anyone mad..drive anyone to become a Kylo Ren. She had only tasted the dark side within her that once..and he had felt it for years.

Rey felt a droplet of water not from the shower head fall down her cheek and neck. He was alone..alone listening to thoughts of nothing but hate and fury. After his predicament with Luke he felt as if he had no one to turn to. He was even a few years older than her when it all happened. She almost didn't blame him. If it wasn't for her friends..for Leia..

"You'd welcome the dark side with open arms."

Rey let out an odd combination of a yelp and gasp as she moved to cover herself. She had been so lost in her own thoughts and worry that she had completely ignored the force bond opening. She squinted to peer through the frosted glass of the shower. Kylo's large black blob stood right in front of it, only steps away.

"Do you mind?!" She yelled, extremely grateful that the glass wasn't transparent. A warm feeling crept up her neck and through her cheeks.

Kylo stood a few paces in front of the shower door in the refresher with her, leaned up against something that wasn't there with his arms crossed lazily.

"I don't choose when this happens, you know that."

"You choose _this_ time to not ignore me?! Not only are you invading my personal space but you're fishing around in my thoughts too!"

She heard a scoff and rolled her eyes as he answered, "I didn't 'fish' around in your thoughts. You were practically screaming them at me."

She was in fact thinking about him rather intensely, even bringing herself to mourn over what he could have been; for the life she didn't blame him for choosing. Did she summon him?

"Probably."

"Ugh Stop!"

His voice softened as he ignored her, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Rey leaned against the back wall of the shower, pondering over how to even begin, "I guess you know what happened, reading my thoughts and all."

"No. I saw it."

Rey stepped closer towards the glass, attempting to reach out into his mind to see what the hell he could have meant by that. She was always a hypocrite when it came to their bond. But she didn't care, he probably didn't have the types of thoughts hiding in his head that she had..

She shivered at the thought of him uncovering _those _thoughts she'd "accidentally" would have of him from time to time.

She hit the wall he put up the second he sensed her attempting to reach his mind.

"What do you mean?"

"I could see everything. I could see the pilot trembling on the ground in front of you. I could feel your smile as you watched. I could see you getting closer..feel your intent..all through your own eyes."

She pressed her hands on the glass as she stepped closer, "So we can see what each other sees now?" Their bond was getting stronger everyday.

"Yes, it is."

"What happened? What's happening to me?" she didn't mean to sound so hopeless, but she couldn't help but to be vulnerable around him. And now..she was emotionally and physically the most vulnerable she had ever been with him.

"You're not who you think you are."

"What?!"

Kylo stepped out of his leaning position, hands crunching into fists, "Your parents really _were_ nothing, they chose to be..because of him."

"What are you saying?!" Rey's voice came out far more shrill than she expected.

"Palpatine wanted you, they refused him. They died for it."

"Palpatine?! The old Emperor?! Why? He died long before I was even born!"

"Palpatine lives, Rey. He has for a while, sneaking around behind the scenes this entire time..whispering in the ear of anyone who'd listen. He wanted you because he knew what you were; what you'd become. He wants you dead, even now."

"What would I become?"

"You'd become like him. He sensed his power running through you."

"Why the hell would I have his power? Power of a walking corpse I never met?" Her hands were balled into fists against the pane.

"Because you're his granddaughter."

Rey pushed the door open to meet him face-to-face, "You lied to me!" she was breathing hard from the mix of team and anger from his confession.

"I never lied to you." Kylo's face had softened to the one he wore on The Supremacy that day. He slowly took a step closer, approaching her carefully.

"I told you what I thought was true at the time."

She searched his mind. Almost all his walls were down, letting her see the truth herself.

Palpatine had told him. He had gave Kylo the memories of giving the order to eradicate her parents, his own son and daughter-in-law. She watched the vision Kylo received of Palpatine's masked henchmen letting him know the girl escaped, but they successfully found and destroyed the parents on a desert planet called Jakku.

Her vision blurred with the overwhelming steam and tears. He looked the same now as he did through the glass door.

The door..

Rey quickly reached for the small cream colored towel hanging to her right, hastily covering her front with it. She blushed furiously.

He took another step, "We can avenge them, Rey. I know where he is. We can go to him and kill him, together."

She ignored her stomach fluttering at his words, how she almost smiled at the thought of them taking the Emperor down together. No..not her and Kylo..her and Ben. It would all end the same way it had with Snoke, unless he turned.

"You need to go.."

"Rey."

All this time..all this time she was a..Palpatine? The darkness she felt inside was so obviously from her own bloodline; something she couldn't help. She almost welcomed the rush of relief she had as she realized it wasn't her that held darkness..it was the part of _him_ in her. He'd pay for her parent's death.

She hadn't noticed she was shaking until Kylo's steady hand gripped her left arm. She quickly tilted her head up towards him. How did he get so close so fast without her noticing?

"We can make him pay, Rey..together." His head was tilted down far too close to her face, causing her to make an intense effort to remember to breathe.

"We can. You took my hand before, you'll take it again. And this time you'll stay." His cool breath sent a visible shiver down her spine. It was such a huge contrast to the hot steam around them. He noticed. His grip tightened slightly and something glinted in his eyes as he leaned even closer.

She mentally kicked herself for letting her eyes gaze down to his lips. He noticed that too.

She closed her eyes, just like before in her chambers. She found it to be a much easier way to talk to him.

"I don't want to take Kylo Ren's hand. I want to take Ben's hand."

When he was silent for a few seconds too long, she let her eyes lazily drift open. She was intoxicated with the constant change in her emotions. The sadness of the thoughts of young Ben Solo being alone and enticed by the darkside, the revelation about her lineage, the man she loved in front of her with nothing but a towel between them. It was all too much.. She just wanted to sleep.

Her eyes met his immediately. His face was nose-to-nose with hers. Their lips would touch if she tried to speak. She froze, wide-eyed at his intense gaze.

"You'll come around." he breathed as his large lips grazed her own.

That's all it took.

It was as if they were both holding their breath the entire time and that small intimate touch let them come up for air.

He snaked his left arm around her back as their lips smashed into each other. She wasn't sure who initiated it. She just relished in how relaxed and relieved she felt in the moment.

His grip on her left arm loosened as he let his palm travel up to hold onto her neck, thumb resting on her jaw bone. She mindlessly brought both arms up to wrap around his neck, standing on her toes to reach. She always caught herself forgetting just how _huge_ he was.

She felt a mix of a moan and a growl coming from him into her mouth and he hoisted her up, letting her bare back hit the condensation covered refresher wall. Rey's legs wrapped around his waist instinctively. Her towel stared up at them from the ground. His long fingers dug into her thighs as he held her there while her tongue slipped into his mouth.

This was better than sleep, Rey thought. This was the best relief from her emotions she had ever felt. She had never felt such..such numbness to everything in her entire life. In this moment, nothing else mattered.

She slowly let her left hand twist into his dark long hair as her right attempted to lift his shirt. She used her thighs and the wall as leverage to stay up as he straightened to take off his black top and grey long-sleeved undershirt. Rey marveled at his chest and arms. They were even more cut than she ever thought. A blush crept up on her face again as she remembered her completely naked form and attempted to cover her torso.

Kylo's hands found her thighs again as he tilted his down to hers again, "Don't."

She found his lips again as she relinquished herself completely to him. As his right hand crept up higher and higher up her side she shivered intensely again, opening her eyes slightly in embarrassment. She noticed something in her peripheral. She let their lips part as she turned to see what caught her attention. A scare. No..scars. They were everywhere. A large circular one graced his left shoulder, a few scrapes decorated his upper left bicep. She recognized the circular one..she remembered exactly how he received that one.

Rey turned to look at his eyes. These eyes, the ones who looked at her like she was the only person in the world that mattered, were Ben's eyes. These dark eyes that showed so much emotion..so much _good_ pooling up to the surface were the ones she had only seen a few times. But he wasn't there yet..he wasn't ready to show those permanently yet.

His face twisted in what could almost be described as agony as he read her thoughts. He knew she'd never continue this with who he was. She didn't want Kylo Ren to kiss her, to touch her, like this. She wanted Ben.

He nodded in defeat at her unspoken protest. He slowly lowered her down, staring at her solemnly as she picked up the towel and wrapped it around her. She was still shaking from the encounter.

"I'm sorry..I didn't mean to.." He was staring off into the empty refresher now, backing up several paces.

Rey looked up, surprised, "N-No don't apologize! It..It was a joint effort.."

He didn't answer, still staring off lost in his own thoughts now firmly secured behind his wall again.

"Come here. Come to Endor. I can tell them to let you through and we can go to Palpatine together. Please. Please, even you said we need to do this together."

"It's too late for me, Rey." He still refused to look at her.

She stepped closer, "No one is ever really gone. I still believe in you. Leia-Your Mother still believes in you."

She hit a nerve. His fists slowly began to form once more. He turned to her finally, his unseen mask now firmly back in place. The Ben in his eyes now gone completely, "We will defeat Palpatine together. And after, you will give in to the dark side. You'll take your place beside me on the throne."

She scrunched her face up in irritation, "I will kill him with or without you."

"The only way you're going to see him is with me."

"Why do you have to be like this?!"

He closed the distance between them one last time, "I told you it's too late for me, Rey. And soon, if you don't keep the darkness within you in check, it'll be too late for you too. You will join me. I've seen it."

"I've seen you too, _Kylo_. I've seen your future. Your _real_ future. You and I together on a planet with two suns standing side by side smiling." Frustrated tears threatened to fall, she choked them down, her eyes burned.

"You were happy. Truly, irrevocably happy. There was so much good in you."

His eyes widened slightly at her confession, his fury gone.

_So that's what you saw._

She wondered if he meant to say that out loud.

"Yes. that's what I saw when I touched you for the first time. That's the future I choose to believe in." she was furious with him now.

_What did you see?_

She thought after she spoke. She knew he heard her as his face changed. He composed himself before he answered, "I'll come tell you."


	6. Chapter 6

_**Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go?**_

_**I don't want to know..**_

_**But I know that I'm never ever gonna change**_

_**And you know you don't want it any other way..**_

_**Why do we always gotta run away?**_

_**And we wind up in the same place**_

_**It's like we're looking for the same thing**_

_**Do we really got to do this now?**_

_**Right here with all your friends around**_

_**In the morning, we can work it out**_

_**I love you so much that I hate you right now, **_

_**But it's so hard to blame you..**_

_**\- Easier, **_**5SOS**

**Chapter 6**

He had been searching for her for what felt like weeks. The large carrier craft felt cramped with his knights crowding the halls. His only solace was found in his personal chambers, which happened to be slightly larger than his subordinates'. That's where he saw her..a flesh colored silhouette behind a glass barrier.

Their bond changed slightly every time they met. At first, he could only see her and sometimes even feel the spray of water from a beach or the grit of sand around her. Then, over time, he was able to see her surroundings along with his own, almost like there was a distinct line between their two locations. Now, he can step into her reality easily, sometimes without meaning to. She did it too, once. They were arguing, both in their own separate chambers before she crossed that line and became fully engulfed in his room. He remembers wanting to roll his eyes at her mind taking in how his quarters looked exactly as she expected it to: "too clean, too white."

He almost happily indulged himself this time; stepping into her refresher was all too easy.

He remembered how their kiss could have possibly felt so familiar yet so different this time. It was definitely _more _than their first. This one was possessive, hungry even. She had let him into her mind then; completely relinquishing herself to him. He drank her in completely. Moving his hands wherever her heart fluttered at the most.

"_In this moment, nothing else mattered."_

He felt a small shiver run up his spine at the memory of her thought slipping into his mind. Did she mean to say it? He was overcome by her confession, whether she had meant to have him hear it or not. He wanted nothing more than to have her right then. In that moment, she was right, there was no politics. No arguing. No dark or light. Just them. Just two lost souls. No..two souls, one body. A dyad in the Force. Balance. To hell with everything else.

They should've never left that room.

He understood her reservations. He didn't agree with them, but he complied anyway.

"_Come here. Come to Endor."_

Kylo's hands shook at the memory of her. He refused to let those feelings bubble back up again as he barked at his knights, "I know where the scavenger is."

…..

Rey's heart thudded loudly in her ears as she threw her white tunic and pants on while attempting to run without finishing putting on her left boot.

He knows where I am.

Where _we_ are.

I told him..

Rey heaved as she ran out into the base camp, eyes searching for her master. How could she be that naive? Was she..was she seduced? Was that his plan? To bring down her defenses to let her reveal where she was? No..that can't be it. She would've sensed it. She would've at least seen some remnant of that plan in his mind. She desperately tried to ignore the heat on the back of the neck as she remembered what could have been..what they almost..

"Master Leia!" Rey yelled before she stopped abruptly. Leia and several other rebels gathered in a large crowd didn't look up; their attention captured by the monitor in front of them. On the older model screen, left over by the war with the Empire, was a written transmission she couldn't quite make out.

Rey breathed, "What's going on?"

It was Finn that noticed her finally, "Rey..it's bad." He turned from the monitor and the small mob to step towards her.

Rey furrowed her brows, "What is it? Is he already here?!"

"No, I don't think he knows where we are. But still..he'll find out eventually if we don't do something about this." Finn brought his hands up to rub his temples.

"I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I told him where we are...He's coming. And not..not only that..but there's something else.."

Finn looked up at her, confusion written all over his face, "What are you talking about? How the hell did you tell him? Why would you even be talking to him?! How even?!"

"Palpatine is not the _him _she was referring to." General Leia approached them, a stern look coming over her face, "Come with me. We need to speak in private."

…..

"Wait..wait wait WAIT." Finn had his hands up, attempting to take in all the information Leia and Rey just exchanged.

"First of all, YOU'RE a Palpatine?! Does that explain what happened to you earlier when you went all evilly? Did he take over you or something?"

"No..no I think it's just that part of him in me..trying to come out. The Dark Side is a lot stronger in me than in most force sensitive people." Rey tried to speak clearly and calmly, afraid he'd get louder if she patrionized him.

"Second of all!" he put two fingers close to her face, "Poe was right?! You've been sneaking off to Force call Kylo Ren?! How long has that been goin on?!"

"Finn, keep your voice down." Leia chimed in.

Finn paced in the small tent before taking a deep breath, "So not only have you been fraternizing with the enemy, but you TOLD HIM WHERE WE ARE?"

Rey stood, "I told you I didn't mean to! I..it just came out!"

Finn threw her a loud "Are you a masochist? Just because he's some tall dark and handsome guy you're going to fill him in on all your secrets? You think you can change him Rey and you can't. He's playing around with you! Don't you see that? He's probably filling your head with all kinds of bullshit just to watch you squirm. You're better than that, Rey."

She didn't reply. Rey was caught between wanting to beg her friend for forgiveness, or to slap him.

He let out a fake laugh, "Is that where you sneak off to sometimes? Not to train, but to see him? He's seducing you isn't he? If he hasn't yet I bet that's next on his list of 'how to turn Rey to the dark side 101'."

Rey shook with anger, "How dare you! What kind of person do you take me for!"

Her face burned with more blush than fury. Was he right?

Finn backed off, "I told you, you're better than that, Rey. You're flirting with death just by being near him. We can't have that happen. We need you. _I_ need you." he was pleading now, all dramatics drained from his expression.

Rey calmed herself, taking a small breath, "You're just going to have to trust me."

Finn stared wide-eyed at his closest friend, realizing she was far too gone.

"Stop. While you two stand there squabbling my son is speeding towards us. We can deal with Palpatine's announcement later, we have to be ready for when Ben..when Kylo Ren comes." Leia moved around them to exit the tent. Rey sighed as she watched her disappointed master leave.

"Rey."

She turned toward Finn again, praying he'd forgive her for this.

"How were you so comfortable..so comfortable with _him _that you'd let infomration like that just come out?"

"I'll tell you what I told Poe. Ben Solo can be turned. I can _feel_ it. I've felt it for a while now. I can..I can change him."

Finn closed the space between them to heed her a warning, "He's going to chew you up and spit you back out."

"Enemy ship spotted!"

"Everyone, quick, load up!"

"They're coming!"

Rey and Finn bursted from the supply tent at the sound of their comrades' dismays. There were now so many surrounding them. They were frantic.

Leia was giving orders while Poe attempted to load BB-8 into his small ship.

"Wait!"

Rose waved a hand up at several Rebel officers, attempting to stop them from ascending on the foreign ship. She stared at the old-school monitor's green lettering.

"They aren't going to land." Rose's voice didn't sound hopeful in the least despite her statement.

"What?" Leia stepped through several surprised rebels before she made it to Rose's monitor.

"Look." Rose slowly pointed at the screen, gesturing for the General to read the incoming transmission.

"What does it say? Are they going to blast us from above?" Finn yelled at them when the several moments of silence lasted far too long.

Leia and Rose exchanged a worried glance, ignoring him.

"What did he say?" Rey stepped forward, calmly asking what the transmission asked for. She didn't need to ask. She already knew.

She could sense Kylo in his ship just above them. If he is willing to spare them..to spare the Rebels..she'd do whatever he asked. But then again, could she completely trust him? She wanted to so badly. Something deep in her gut said she could. She reached out to him, to search his emotions. She could sense only one intense emotion….exitement?

Leia spoke, refusing to look at her, "He will not land or blast us into oblivion...if we give him what he wants."

"What could we possibly have to bargain? We have barely any weapons, second-rate ships, old shitty technolog-" Finn's realization hit as he slowly turned to his friend. Almost every Rebel at the base stared at Rey, completely confused.

_It's me isn't it. _

Rey sent the thought to Leia, knowing she would be listening anyway. She nodded an answer.

"Give me a ship."

…..

Kylo's entire body seemed to tremble in anticipation of her arrival. He felt her resolve before they sent the transmission back to accept his demands.

The small beaten rebel ship slowly crept up before asking to dock.

…..

Large masked men dressed in faded black opened the hatch to greet her in the small ship Leia lended to her. Knights of Ren, she guessed.

They tugged her arms over head to yank her out of her ship before she had time to completely unbuckle the safety harness. She landed on the cold flood of their ship momentarily before quickly being lifted and dragged down the halls.

She could feel him. She could feel his presence all around her. She forgot just how thick it was in person. Through the force, she could touch him and sense him but not like this. It was a slightly muted version of him. This was almost overwhelming.

Two of his knights donned her with wrist shackles and showed her to where she'd be staying.

A maintenance supply closet.

"That asshole." she kicked the wall to her left. It was so small and cramped, filled with cleaning supplies and extra parts. There was only enough room for her to sit cross-legged. She guessed with so many people aboard they had ran out of room. She also guessed he was doing this to punish her for what happened what felt like only minutes ago..

She sat there for what could have been several hours. Where was he? She knew he'd be the one to greet her, to gloat and boast of how he "won." But he never showed.

Rey closed her eyes, _"What? Not ready to come claim your prize?"_

She meant it in a rude, extremely sarcastic way but immediately read into the connotations of it. She blushed furiously, hoping he was too busy to hear her.

"_Don't worry, we have plenty of time to spend together now."_

His husky voice echoed in her ears, making her jump a little. There was a twist in her gut as she wondered what he probably had meant by that.

She moved a few spare droid parts and calcinator wires out of the way so she could scoot back to lean on the back wall.

"_I did this to save them. I'm still not joining you. If you want to destroy Palpatine with me, then fine. But I'll never join the Dark Side."_

She sensed his annoyance and his eyes rolling.

When he didn't answer, she continued, _"You can't shake me now. I'm not going anywhere. I will turn you. I'm not leaving until I do."_

"_You're going to be disappointed then." _

She smiled, _"You'll get your wish. We'll do it together. I'm going to kill Palpatine, with Ben Solo."_

She waited several seconds for a response. She wondered if he was going to answer at all.

"_We'll see." _


End file.
